No Wonder You Ain't Got Any Genuine Friends (Wk #5)

In the lecture of Steven Pinker, he mentions why people have interactions with others. The relations among one with another such as; that if we keep a calculator and constantly recording down to the very last digits of who owes how much and the other gave how much... Yes, it sounds annoying, selfish, and even could be untrustworthy right? Now, let me ask, how many of you actually have genuine friends? Do you think of yourself as genuine person? What are your definitions of a genuine friend? Do you guys match up to this definition of your own? Do you think they are such good hearted people out there that has a great heart and you can be friends with? In Pinker's lecture, the interviewer seems to be skeptical that good people; where you can just have your guards down- actually exist anymore.

Well I want to say, they do exist, genuine people do exist only if you do exist as a genuine person yourself. I have this friend asked me so often, "Why are you friends with Janet anyways, she's so dumb and slow?" Then another friend of mine asked of me the same thing about my good friend Janet of this similar question. But first of all let me say, my good friend Janet is not dumb, but maybe slow, but she knows who are the fakes and the phonies. Janet knew she's slow and I would always make fun of her, but she always is willing to learn and read self improvement books.
So my response back to all those other friends of mine that raises this question was, "I accept her, because Janet has a good heart. It's as simple as that. I know people usually pick the ones to be friends with based on your expectations or what kinds of goodies one can offer to the other." So I asked them back, "Would you like someone to consider you as their friend because you can offer your goodies to them?" They said, "No." I replied," Exactly, because after all, we just want to be accepted right?" I could see the look of their faces because they all looked like they were going to cry because I made them realize they've been so judgmental all along.

I feel so bad for these people who are so judgmental when it comes to picking and choosing a person as a friend based on what one can offer and benefit from them in the future. You know why? I look at their life. It only made sense to me of why their own friends slowly, one by one betrays them at the end. At the end I'm the one who they cry to when they really want to express their vulnerabilities. Maybe if we all would recognize ones good heartiness only than what the other person can offer to the table. Then, you will have; someone who you can count on if your car breaks down at 3am , someone to cry to about your miseries, someone to confess to when you felt guilty about something you've down and still won't judge you, will accept you for all your contradictions and really and accept you for who you are not. Remember, any relationship is not a one way street, it goes two ways.